William Henry Ruthven

 On the 11th January 2011 my contractions started. They were every 3 - 4 minutes apart so my Mum headed down in the car to look after Olivia. After 20 hrs of contractions they just stopped. On Thursday 13th I had 6 hours of intense contractions and once again, everything stopped. On Friday 14th January the contractions began again in the afternoon. My mum drove down and my husband came home from work. This time the pain was a lot more intense.

By 8:30pm we were in the car heading to hospital. We were now living in Hertfordshire and when we got to our hospital I was the only one on the Midwife led birthing ward. This was already a whole different experience to my previous labour. I went straight into the sensory ward where there was a huge low level bed, aromatherapy mist being pumped into he air and David Grey being played. There was lovely low lighting and colour changing LEDs that softly went through an array of colours. Upon being checked I was only 3 cms dilated. The midwife explained to me that I was slowing things down by tensing every time I had a contraction and that it would move along much quicker if I tried to not fight against the pain.

As I had begun throwing up again I was given an anti sickness drug which really helped. I got out my ipod and surprisingly everything I thought I would want to listen to didn't feel right so I ended up listened to Gregorian Monks chanting Psalms and through every contraction I tried to flow the pain out of my body by gently using my hands in a wafting motion and mentally envisioning the pain as water or mist. As bizarre as it sounds it really worked for me and within 2hrs I had arrived at 10cm. Once again my waters had not broken and I had no show. They lanced my waters when I was 9cm whilst in the birth pool.

Although I liked the idea of having a water birth I didn't enjoy it at the time so I promptly got out. I found out that I was 10cm dilated after I asked for some additional pain relief as I was struggling to cope. They checked me and I was informed that I was too far gone to have anything. This was the point where I lost control over the pain and started to panic. It was not my intention to have a drug free labour. The time came to push and it was an experience that I will never forget. I thought I was being turned inside out. One final push and out he came. My beautiful boy. He was so perfect. My husband and I just stared at him sobbing. He was just so beautiful that it was breaking me into pieces.

William was born at 2:30am so my husband had to leave and I had to wait until 9:30 before I could leave. This time round I had no tears and I was in my own room with an en suite. That first shower felt amazing. I never slept that morning. I sat and stared at him for hours. Finally, 7 hours after I gave birth I got to go home.



DUE DATE - 18th JANUARY

BORN - 15th JANUARY

WEIGHT - 7lbs 7oz

Rufus

 Second time round I still didn’t know what signs to look for as to when labour had started.  I spent weeks wondering if this was it or will it be tonight only to get nearer and nearer my due date.  Being five days early with my first I expected to be early or to at least not go too late, but I had been having subtle back pain for a few days which only the day before did I realise could have been contractions all along.

In the early hours of Thursday 12^th July the subtle pains seemed to become a little bit stronger.  I still can’t pinpoint what made me realise that this was labour but somehow I knew, so I got up, put the hot water and heating on ready for a bath and popped two paracetamol – this was 2am.

I told my husband we weren’t going anywhere until at least 6am as I didn’t want to ring my mum, who was going to look after our eldest, too early in the morning and I also didn’t want to disrupt Elias’s usual day/routine.  He stayed in bed trying to sleep while I got in the bath.

By 4.30am I could no longer lay in the bath.  The contractions were coming every few minutes in a regular pattern but as they weren’t lasting any longer than 45 seconds I presumed they were just more hard core second time round and decided I would definitely need pain relief this time round. 

By about 5.00am I tried to find some pain relief by having a shower – this didn’t help.  I shouted my husband and told him he had to ring my mum and tell her to get here asap.  It was too painful and I wanted to go to hospital.

Whilst waiting for mum to arrive, I could only find some comfort by sitting in a strange position on the toilet, as I felt a constant pressure in my bum.  This in hindsight, was probably the baby moving down the birth canal.

The midwife on the phone advised having some breakfast before making my way to hospital and I asked if the birth pool was free.  Unfortunately it wasn’t, however she said that by the time I was likely to have arrived, the new mother using the birth pool would have left and it would be free for me.  I hadn’t wanted to get hung up on using the birth pool (I had a water birth with my first born) in case it was then not free and I became upset or stressed at a deviation from my birth plan (which simply read ‘Go with the flow’), but I also wanted the birth pool room as it had an en-suite shower – a luxury I hadn’t had last time round!

Elias woke at about 5.45am and found it amusing to watch mummy squirm around on the toilet.  My husband found it difficult to know what to do – torn between trying to sort out a 2 year old still in nappies and needing his breakfast and looking after a labouring wife. 

By the time my mum arrived I was pacing about in just a pair of knickers moaning that it was all just too painful and that I needed drugs.  My mum later told me that when she arrived, she thought she was going to have to rely on her years of training as a nurse to deliver her fourth grandchild as she could see that I was much further on than I realised.

We left after a quick goodbye and ‘mummy is off to the hospital to have the baby’ and every single speed bump and pot hole made me wince.  This time round I demanded my husband park as near as possible to the delivery ward and I had to stop as each contraction hit whilst I managed it.

We arrived at the delivery ward at about 6.45am and were shown to one of the ward rooms to be assessed.  As the midwives were changing shifts in 15 minutes, the outgoing midwife explained that she wouldn’t examine me but I would have to wait until the midwife taking over arrived, so that I wasn’t examined twice and to reduce risk of infection etc.

When my midwife arrived at 7.15am to examine me she commented ‘I can’t feel any cervix’.  ‘What does that mean?’ I asked – ‘you’re fully dilated’ she replied – ‘oh’.  By this point the pain appeared to have subsided.  I managed to find a comfy position laying on my right side and began to feel a slight of a shiver – what I think was actually my body telling me I was ready to push.

The midwife seemed to then panic as to whether there was time to move me to a private room.  I offered to walk the short distance down the corridor but ultimately I was wheeled down on the bed and into the birth pool suite.

She asked if I could manage to hop off the bed and onto the one in the room – I did and then we were left to get ready.  At no point was I offered the use of the pool – there just wasn’t time to get that filled, but I also wasn’t offered any gas and air.  My response to my mum on this (who seems to be appalled that I wasn’t offered) was that I didn’t ask and why offer it to a woman who seems otherwise capable of doing it without?

I felt a sudden gush and asked if my waters had gone, only to be advised that it was only my show and my waters were still intact.  ‘Can you just pop them so we can get pushing?’ I asked and so the midwife did.

At this point I was simply getting over each contraction and not trying to use them to get the baby out.  The midwife told me to stop ‘pushing them away’ and to use them.  I took a moment to get my head into the situation.  It had all happened so fast and now the only way to stop the pain was to get on and get this baby out.  There was only me who could do it.

After probably about 30 minutes maximum of pushing, at 8.12am on Thursday 12^th July the head was born, followed quickly by the rest of the body.  My husband later told me that the umbilical cord was up around the baby’s next, being worn like a scarf.  The midwife quickly cut it and then later on realised that she hadn’t asked if either of us wanted to.  We weren’t fussed!

The midwife asked if we had looked to see what the sex was – for me I couldn’t see past my knees, so it would have been a miracle to have seen any genitalia!  Our second baby boy had arrived – I was a little stunned as I had thought it was going to be a girl!  He was put straight onto my chest, covered in blood and wide awake but not screaming.  He latched on to my breast pretty quickly, whilst the midwife gave me the injection to help deliver my placenta. 

Unfortunately, after a natural birth with nothing more than two paracetamol 6 hours previously, my placenta decided it didn’t want to come out!  I had complained during the labour that I felt the need to wee, so the midwife thought that I may have a full bladder which was stopping the placenta from coming out.  She tried to fit 3 ‘in-out’ catheters before calling for assistance from a second midwife, who tried to fit a further 2.  Strangely the most painful thing about her attempts was the position she had tilted me back too, in order to assist the placenta detaching.  Eventually, after about 30 minutes of pulling at it and no successful catheters being fitted, my placenta came out.  I was relieved.  I didn’t want to have to go to surgery just to have my placenta removed, having had such a straight forward birth.

Once again, having listened to my midwife’s advice about pushing and trying to remain relaxed, I didn’t need any stitches and had no cuts or tears.

The midwife asked if we had a name in mind.  There was only ever one really throughout my whole pregnancy – Rufus Laurence.  We called our families and then I had a shower in the luxury en suite.  I got dressed, put on some make-up and had some toast – I felt completely normal, in good shape and eager to get home.

We were then asked to vacate the birth pool room so it was ready for the next mother to be and we moved back to the ward we had been in on arrival, with three other new mums and their babies and one poor lady still in labour.  One of Rufus’ testicles was slightly swollen, a common occurrence in newborn boys and this was put down to my hormones being in his body by the consultant.  We were discharged and set off home to await the return of the new big brother from nursery and the expected family visitors.

Elias

 The day leading up to going into labour I had cleaned the bathroom thoroughly, eaten a spicy curry and most of a pineapple and even forced down a cup of raspberry leaf tea (brave given that I don’t drink tea or coffee!). At approximately midnight I started to notice a regular tightening across my stomach, coming every 10minutes before subsiding. They weren’t painful but regular enough for me to realise that labour had started.

I waited an hour or so and then took two paracetamol before getting into the bath. This kept me occupied until about 6.00am when the contractions began to become more uncomfortable. My biggest concern at this point was the frequency and length of the contractions as they were coming regularly every 3 minutes and lasting for at least a minute. Due to this we headed off to hospital, a 10minute journey at that time of day.

Upon arrival I was examined and found to be 3cm dilated but as I was coping well with the contractions, advised to go home until things progressed further.

Once we got home I put on the TENS machine I had borrowed from a friend and paced about upstairs, trying to stay away from any decent carpets in case my waters broke! I phoned the hospital again once the contractions increased in pain to advise them that we would be returning and under the impression that I had had my show, I advised them of this. However as soon as I moved from sitting down…then I had my show!

We returned to hospital, parking in the furthest car park as things still weren’t that painful and I was coping happily. This time I was shown straight to a labour room and once examined the midwife estimated I was 5/6cm dilated. I was asked what I wanted to do next and remembered a friend had had a bath whilst in labour at the same hospital so asked if I could do the same. The midwife offered me the use of the birth pool and once seeing my look of disgust said that I didn’t have to have the baby in it, but could labour in it or at least try it. I agreed (having asked what I was supposed to wear as I had not packed a swimming costume! Yep – a baby is going to be able to navigate a full length costume upon its exit!) and whilst the pool was filled, continued to manage the pain of the contractions with my TENS machine and moving around the room.

Once the pool was ready (in another room) we walked along to the next room and I climbed in. As soon as my body hit the water I instantly relaxed, the heat providing my body with another way of de-stressing. Suffice to say, despite my initial reservations, I never got out of the birth pool! The TENS machine had been removed before I got in and eventually I progressed onto using the gas & air to get me through the last few hours of contractions.

My biggest difficulty by this point was persuading my midwife to examine me sooner than the standard-procedure 4 hours (I think it was this long – however long it was, was too long!). My body was telling me that things were happening but she would not examine me any sooner, until I threatened to request more extreme pain relief methods such as an epidural. I told her that I needed to know how much further dilated I was so that I could decide if I wanted to have anything stronger for the pain. We eventually agreed to meet half way and she would examine me at 4pm.

By 3pm I complained of feeling an urge to poo. There is no other glamorous way of putting it. The midwife decided to examine me, only to find that I was fully dilated and that my waters had gone at some point since I had been in the water. Putting the fear of God into my husband that he may miss the birth, he ran to the toilet and back whilst she prepared her equipment. Once my husband had returned we began the pushing!

45 minutes later, and apparently after complaining that ‘it stung’ my baby’s head was born fully submerged in the water. The contractions suddenly seemed to disappear and the midwife looked curious as to why I wasn’t pushing when I had any more. I asked if I could just push on my own steam rather
than wait for a contraction, to which she looked surprised but by this point and with a baby’s head sitting weirdly between my legs, I wanted to get on with it!

At 3.52pm on Friday 26th February 2010 and with a big push my baby was born, caught by the midwife as my arms were simply too tired to risk dropping it back into the water. He was lifted directly up in front of me (think ‘The Circle of Life’ from Lion King the film) and his gentalia displayed for all to see which meant I got to tell my husband and the midwives that he was a boy.

He was placed straight onto my chest for a few minutes whilst the cord was cut and then passed to his daddy for his first cuddle and to be weighed. Throughout all this I don’t recall him crying very much, if at all and he seemed quite relaxed about the whole experience. Whilst daddy-baby bonding occurred, I climbed out of the birth pool to deliver the placenta and be examined by the midwife. It was certainly a surreal experience to have to climb out whilst holding the umbilical cord still attached to the placenta inside me, in my right hand! I have been told that this isn’t the case for all water births so don’t be put off!

Luckily, by listening to my midwife’s advice about pushing and the lubrication created by the water, I didn’t require any stitches and had only suffered some minor internal scratches during the birth. The midwife asked if we had a name chosen but we although we had our girls name chosen, we still hadn’t yet decided on our boy’s name – Elias or Theodore? Throughout the whole of the labour I didn’t want to raise the subject of the boys name with my husband in case we disagreed or it was girl so the midwife made up the tags with just the surname on and we left it to be discussed.

We returned to our room next door and had ‘the’ discussion as to what we were going to name him. All I could say to my husband was ‘I prefer Elias. He’s too butch to be a Theodore’ and luckily that was my husbands preference too – Elias Patrick had arrived. The obligatory phone calls to family were made, before having a shower and feeling much more human! I stayed in overnight as Elias didn’t take to breastfeeding brilliantly and was discharged the next day, heading home to introduce my beautiful baby boy to his family.

Due Date - 3rd March 2010
Born - 26th February 2010
Weight - 7lbs 7oz

Joshua

 I gave birth to my baby boy Joshua on 24th November 2010 (his due date) at 3:06pm weighting in at 5lb 12 1/2oz. My labour started on the Monday morning when I woke up, I was experiencing period like pains so I decided to go for a walk to see if I could help bring on labour. During the afternoon the pains disappeared. The same thing happened the following day so again I went for a walk and the pains got more and more uncomfortable. I was due to see the midwife for routine appointment that afternoon. My husband was due to head to London for work that evening but was taking me to the appointment, while at the midwifes I got a big contraction with literally took my breath away. The midwife timed it and counted how long it lasted, 3 minutes later I was having another, the midwife looked at my husband and said if I was you I would not be going to work if you want to see your child born, she said there was no way our baby was going to be over due!

We headed home a little nervous about what to expect. My husband had to head into work to drop something off, but headed straight back by which time my contractions where coming fast and strong, my neighbour and friend came and sat with me until my husband got back. My contractions eased a bit and I managed something to eat while watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here! My husband ran me a bath which I got into a few times to help with the pain, my pains throughout my labour stayed in my pelvic area not my belly. At 11pm I called the labour ward and they advised me have another bath and try to stay at home for as long as I could stand. At 3am I felt that I needed some help, so I called again and they told me to make our way in, we got to the hospital around 4am. Once in the delivery room, I was asked what pain relief I wanted, I explained that I did not want an epidural (as I am scared of needles!) they started me on gas and air, which fast became my best friend! Once the midwife checked me she confirmed that I was 4cm, which I was really pleased with as I had done that all by myself! My mum made her way down from London to be with us, she arrived at 7:30 and was there with us throughout. I managed to get some sleep, at 12noon the midwife came in to see how far along I was and confirmed I was 8 to 9 cm and that she was going to break my waters.
I had heard that this was really painful, my experience of this was just the opposite, it was fine and was not painful. The midwife explained that once she had broke the waters I would be able to start pushing. At around 1:30pm I started pushing, as I was pushing the midwife could see that Joshua was slightly back to back with me and was coming out at an angle, something they call LOL, however I was not laughing out loud at the time! The atmostphere in the room changed and the midwife said "Sam we need you to really push now and get the baby out" I gave everything I had and at 3:06pm he was delivered safe and sound.
After the birth I was seen by a surgeon to be stitched up I had quite a bad tare from Joshua coming out at an angle.
My labour was great, I actually enjoyed it. I took every contraction as it came, by telling myself that, that's one more done one more closer to meeting our baby. My pregnancy was brilliant too, after 7 long years of trying to get pregnant, we where both very excited. I suffer with Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome, I was diagnosed when I was 21, before I met my husband. We had spoken loads about trying for a family and although I have POS the Drs said it could happen naturally, however after years of trying nothing did. In November 2009 we when to see a specialist and I was given Clomid to take along with Provera to bring on a bleed (I could go two years with no bleed) I took the medication and we did our homework! On mothers day 2010 I did a test and we where 2 weeks pregnant!

Olivia Scarlett Anne

On Monday 14th September I started getting contractions but they were not very painful and they continued throughout the day until they were 3 minutes apart. Then everything stopped.

On Tuesday 15th September the contractions started again at midday. This time they were definitely painful. I started recording their frequency on my laptop using an App and called my husband to inform him of what was going on. I then phone my father who I wanted to speak to to remain focused through the contractions. I think he was scared to death. At this point the contractions were every 4 minutes apart. The contractions continued all night and at 3am I couldn't take the pain anymore and went to the hospital.

By this point my waters hadn't broken, I had had no show and was only 2cm dilated so the midwife gave me a sweep (which I was not grateful for) and sent me home. Between 4am - 6am I lay in the bath vomiting and at 6am we returned to the hospital.
Unfortunately the midwife led Birthing Suite was full so already the birthing plan was out of the window. I went up to the labour ward and had to wait in the corridor until a room became free. This took about an hour. When I eventually got in I was checked and unfortunately I was only 3cm dilated. This time they let me stay, thankfully. I started on gas & air but by 11am after 24hrs of contractions I asked for an Epidural. I was given a mobile epidural which meant I was administered 10ml every hour. From that point on my whole experience of labour changed. It was wonderful. I could walk about, use a birthing ball and walk around completely pain free. It took me 14hrs to get from 4cm dilated to 10cm.

My waters never broke so they lanced them when I was 9cm dilated. Then I was ready to push. After 30 minutes of pushing Olivia arrived. There was some miconium in my waters so a consultant had to check her over. I had two 2nd degree internal tears and one external tear which required the plastic surgeon to attend to but it was all done very quickly.

I was finally passed my daughter. She was so beautiful that I thought I was going to explode with something that was a mixture of pride, love, wonder and adrenalin. My husband then had to leave and I had to spend the night on the labour ward. Which is an extremely noisy experience. As I was in an inner London hospital I was with about 40 other women separated by curtains. The night was interrupted by babies screaming, midwifes chatting or coming to wake you up to take your blood pressure or other women on the phone. I was so glad when morning arrived and I could get out. Once we had been seen by a Dr to do Olivia's checks and had a chat with the midwife about safe sex we were allowed to leave. I was so excited to take her home.
DUE DATE - 24th SEPT
BORN - 16th SEPT at 8:30pm
WEIGHT - 6lb 13oz